Anna Taylor (36 - she/her). Mother to Anthony (19, he/him) Addelade (13 she/they), and Abraham (11 mo - pictured)
Philadelphia, PA
“I’ve had at least one miscarriage and two abortions. The miscarriage that I visited the emergency department for was hard. The abortions were good choices in tough situations and I’m grateful for the care I received before, during and after them. Planned Parenthood and other abortion providers are doing G-d’s work.
How has parenthood impacted your body image?
I was seventeen when my oldest was born, so I barely remember what my body was like before pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding changed it. Being so young, I spent a great many years feeling insecure about the breast changes more than anything. I barely spent any time with my breasts before they became functional. Conversely, I felt empowered by what my body had been able to do. I felt similarly with the second pregnancy, but was maybe slightly more comfortable in my skin. This time around, I have really tried to change my own narrative around my body. I want to love it and honor it, even when it won’t do what I want it to. I’m making progress.
What was your postpartum experience?
My first postpartum experience started in shock and continued in survival. I was in love with my baby and I was traumatized and unable to articulate my feelings and needs. My second one started off better, but a combination of an unsupportive home situation and a tendency toward depression landed me in a postpartum depression that wouldn’t lift for a year. It was really hard and I didn’t admit it until it was long over.
This time, we spent the first ten days in the NICU unexpectedly. When I’m able to find all of the words to explain how gut-wrenching and terrifying and unbearable and beautiful and life-changing that experience was, I might write a poem about it or something. Who knows. The cool thing is that I had a midwife who made sure I had a proper postpartum experience when I got home. She told me to get in bed and stay there. She visited me and treated the first two weeks at home as if they were the first two weeks postpartum. I would not have treated myself so well if not for her. Her name is Ray Rachlin and if you’re from Philadelphia and its suburbs or New Jersey, you should hire her. She’s amazing.
What is your truth that you'd pass along to your former self, or a new parent?
It’s all temporary and how you’re feeling is normal and you should definitely eat and drink enough, take a shower and socialize with other parents even if you’re not the socializing type. Also, it’s all temporary. Another thing is that what you’re feeling is normal. Please take a shower and socialize with other parents, even if you don’t like socializing or other parents.
Why did you choose to participate in this movement and share your story?
Looking at photos of other people whose bodies have been changed by this and seeing bits of myself in every one of them has helped me through this past year in ways that I couldn’t have known I needed. I want to pay it forward. I’m not exactly comfortable doing it, but I want to be a part of this thing because I think it’s beautiful and necessary.