Della Laira (41 - she/her), Paul (3.5) and Samuel (15 mo)
Seychelles Islands | Los Angeles, CA {Photographed virtually via Zoom}
How has parenthood impacted your body image?
When I became a mother for the first time, I breastfed and ate a lot..but I wasn't paying attention to my mental health. I was depressed, once I was done breastfeeding (18 months later) I stopped caring for my body. I became ashamed of my body, but I grasped to the joy of knowing this body gave birth to a healthy boy. I hold on to that and that lights my soul. Even now. I have a pouchy stomach, after my second birth, its more pronounced. I would love to address it but I'm in no hurry. I delivered my babies, this is my body, I take pride in the molds, curves, stretch marks that records the miracle of life.
What was your postpartum experience?
Deep breathe on this one. My first pregnancy was a breeze, the postpartum part became a challenge because I ignored the stress signs and did not address my postpartum depression. When my first born was like 9 months old, I had a breakdown. I couldn't breathe, I was just pushing through everything; going to work, making breakfast and lunch before I left for work, laundry, dinner... I was exhausted, depressed, lonely, and angry. With all of that I stopped caring for myself, I stopped; exercising, praying, looking at myself. My body image was negatively impacted.
What is your truth that you'd pass along to your former self, or a new parent?
To my former self: there is no better way to do this journey than with a partner that is equally exciting to be a parent ( in this I consider myself lucky)
To a new parent: be kind to yourself, there is no playbook for parenthood. But do prepare yourself, do the work to not pass on your traumas(if any) your baggages, understand that a child is a blessing not an extension of yourself.🙏🏾
How has your (pregnancy/birth/postpartum/parenting) been affected by COVID-19?
I recently fell in love with my second born. The last pregnancy was a doozy.... I had just put him in daycare part-time, so I can claim some time for myself. COVID-19 hit and I am home with 2 boys under 4 years old. I have become more stern with the boys, setting firmer boundaries. And I had to see things from their lens. We tried to explain to the older one that people are sick and we cannot go to the park. He doesn't understand, all he wants is to run. We lost a family friend and my son's godfather to Covid-19, we are grieving that while trying to have structure, manage a business and be present with the boys - WOAH!
Why did you choose to participate in this movement and share your story?
in this time we are closer when we share our stories; we touch each other. We can lightened up someone's day/night..and we need that light now more then ever.I choose to share because we are all fighting something right now, be it physical, mental, spiritual, we are all attempting to be better and resourceful.