Nia Avery (38 - she/her) and Theodore Salvador Avery Jr. “BoBeaux” (2 months)
New Orleans, LA {Virtual FaceTime session}
How has parenthood impacted your body image?
Initially, I felt like I would never get back to my original body, this was my concern. Although I embraced my pregnancy body, it was tough because, I was accustomed to working out everyday. Once we found out I was pregnant, I began to focus on lessening my workout because I did not want to do anything that could potential harm our son. Now that Theo Jr. is here, I feel more confident than ever. The superficial things that I was concerned about soon faded away. I am back to working out and I am loving my new postpartum body.
What was your postpartum experience?
At now 7 weeks and 1 day postpartum, my experience has been mixed. Initially, we knew that we would stay in the house and focus on bonding with our son. It feels weird with the quarantine that now we must stay indoors and be more careful. It is like if we were free to do everything we normally would do, it would not be as intense, but now we are confined, it makes me think a bit more.
When we first arrived home, I was nervous, as I did not feel like I knew everything that I needed to know. Which I am certain that I knew I would figure it out, I wanted to be sure that I was doing my best. The first week I spent majority of my time taking his temperature, feeding and getting to know him better. As far as my self care, my doula gave me a few tips and pointers. She also initiated a meal train for us, this was so helpful in the first few weeks. Especially since we were not open to receiving visitors, gift card to support local restaurants who were open to take out orders and prepared food was helpful. Initially, I was hyper focused on looking at my body constantly in the mirror, wondering when my stomach would finally retract. Eventually, I received my body-band and this was helpful for back support and allowing my uterus to contract. It was much easier to walk and sit up straight once I started to wear it.
As the weeks went by, I continued to research online about my healing process from a vaginal birth, I decided not to take any pain medication because I thought if I was having any issues, I did not want it to be masked by pain medication. I was also concerned because this was my first birth and I did not know what was normal and what wasn’t with the help of my physician, my doula and dr. google it appeared as if everything was going well. Fortunately, my healing was going as planned. Eventually, I was itching to go outside to experience fresh air and go jogging again. Once I hit my 6 week mark my walking routine began. What I did not realize is that, once I started to jog again that it would feel much different. I am enjoying my postpartum experience. With the concerns of the virus and hesitation every time I am outside, I always attempt to remember the positive side. The point at which I get to spend quality time with my family and myself.
What is your truth that you'd pass along to your former self, or a new parent?
The truth that I would pass on to my former self and a new parent is to have a supportive team in place and to go with the flow. With all of the research and birth plan I expected to go exactly as planned. However, with all the curved balls presented, I had to remember to go with the flow. For a new parent I would also recommend for them to have a supportive team that is aware of all of your wants and are confident to advocate for you in all aspects. If I did not have such a strong and supportive team I am unsure if I would have been able to go through my birth process naturally. Also, identifying an OB/GYN who is aligned with you short and long term goals are also necessary. My OB/GYN was open and supportive to collaborating with my husband and doula which made it all more helpful.
How has your (pregnancy/birth/postpartum/parenting) been affected by COVID-19?
My pregnancy was affected by COVID-19 in the sense of creating more anxiety around my birth. Days before my pregnancy I was told that my doula would not be able to attend my birth. Fortunately, she was able to attend however rules were changing by the minute. This caused a lot of uncertainty and wonder of what the outcome would be. Fortunately, I had continuous meetings with my Doula and the opportunity to use VR Goggles from Applied VR to assist with meditation, breathing and focus on positive energy.
My birth was affected by COVID-19 because I was confined to my room the entire time. I did not feel comfortable walking around the hospital. I do think although I had a very supportive team and VR Goggles to assist with staying calm and focused. When there is anything that can put you in an uneasy state it has an effect on your body. I was admitted into the hospital Sunday March 22nd and was induced with a Foley Ball which is painful, however I wanted to keep things as natural as possible. I think that with the me knowing that there is a pandemic going on, although I was as relaxed as possible I think that it got in the way of expediting my birth. We constantly revisited options, by Tuesday my son did not come and I was not dilating at the pace they would have preferred. Pitocin was on the table, this is something that I did not want, but I decided to go ahead and agree to a low dosage Wednesday because I did not know if the rules of the hospital would change and I wanted my OB/GYN to be there to deliver our son.
Wednesday my Pitocin started at about 10:30am with a very low dosage, my contractions began, with the VR Goggles, my husband and doula counting the contractions, it appeared that everything was going as planned. Then the pain began to increase and the contractions became almost unbearable. I found out that our son was faced forward. I started to change positions and towards the end I wanted to ask for an epidural but I did not. Finally at 8:11pm I met him, and the next step was to move to our recovery room. Again with the strains on the hospital, we all had our masks on and we were even asked if we wanted to leave the hospital early. I declined, as I wanted to be sure that everything checked out. When my OB/GYN checked me I mentioned to her that I was sore and was not walking she suggested that I stay longer in the hospital. I declined and we checked out Friday, I did not want to be in the hospital knowing that there may be additional exposure to the virus.
My postpartum healing and parenting are being affected by COVID-19 because I am way more cautious about germs, going out and doctor’s visits. I was concerned about our first pediatrician visit and almost canceled it because I did not want to be exposed to anything that may harm our son. Also, my husband was in charge of going to the grocery store and picking up food. We implemented additional daily routines, and several more showers.
Why did you choose to participate in this movement and share your story?
I decided to participate because I think that we do not talk enough and share enough stories. I think that this is a great platform to continue to inform parent(s) about the process. Especially during this time of uncertainty. We are also making history, I am excited to be able to add value during this time to assist other individuals who may have concerns. I am hoping that sharing my story will help them throughout their journey. I’ve been following this movement for almost a month and the stories have helped me throughout my journey, and I am looking forward to paying it forward by assisting others with their journey. Also, I love art and specifically photography as a medium. To me this is also a point in time to record where I am in life and owning my new body with confidence. I would have never thought to take a photo publicly showing my body, however, it may be motivations for others to own their bodies and have love for their body just the way it is.