Amber Lena Every (40 - she/her), Kathy (64 - she/her) and Jaxon (6). Amber is also parent to Gilbert (14), and Niko (12).
Greeley, CO {Virtual FaceTime Session}
“I had two miscarriages before I had Jaxon. My first miscarriage was at 11 weeks and it was incredibly traumatic. I had no idea what was going to happen. The hospital sent me home telling me I would have some "cramping" but I went into a form of labor. It was terrifying and heartbreaking. After that loss, my husband and I decided to adopt. We adopted our two older sons from the foster care system when they were 2 and 4. My second miscarriage was a few years later at 7 weeks. This time I knew what to expect, but it was still heartbreaking. A year or so after that I got pregnant with Jaxon. I fully expected to miscarry and was guarded even with our first ultrasound. I was trying to protect my heart from another loss. It wasn't until I could feel him move inside of me that it finally started to feel real. "
How has parenthood impacted your body image?
After I had Jaxon I LOVED my body. I had never had what I considered womanly breasts. For the first time I had curves. My clothes fit well. I loved my boobs. But eventually those boobs went away and I really struggled. I struggled more than I thought I would. I realized that the new image I had of my body was not a healthy one. So I took some steps to change that and that led me here!!
What was your postpartum experience?
My postpartum experience was overall very positive. My recovery was difficult, and I did end up back in the hospital due to an infection, but those are the things no one can prepare for. Being a new mom to Jaxon wasn't a traditional experience, because I was not new to being a mom. I was a mom of two boys, but I was new to being a mom of an infant. This gave me anxiety at times, feeling like the outside world assumed I would have things figured out by the third child, but really it was the first time I had to do things like get an infant car seat in and out of the car:) I think being thrown into motherhood the way I was with my older boys helped me to not sweat the small stuff with Jaxon.
What is your truth that you'd pass along to your former self, or a new parent?
This is the hardest job in the world. No one told me how mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausting being a parent would be. You are going to make mistakes!! And when you do, don't beat yourself up. Learn from them and try to do better next time. And soak up the hugs and kisses!!!
How has your (pregnancy/birth/postpartum/parenting) been affected by COVID-19?
COVID-19 has brought our family closer. I have a 14 year old and a 12 year old. These are the ages where they typically begin to pull away from their parents and spend more time with friends. COVID-19 stopped this from happening, so we were able to bond more with our teenagers. We have found things to do together as a family and strengthened our relationships. It has also had its hard times, but we are being provided with a lot of opportunities to learn and grow.
Why did you choose to participate in this movement and share your story?
When I found this movement I began looking at the images of beautiful humans over and over. I flooded my head with these pictures...and deleted the rest of my social media stuff. Over time, my perception of beauty was truly changed! For the first time in my life I am not critical of how I look. I feel beautiful in my skin and I give the credit to the 4th Trimester Bodies Project. Our world needs more things like this. It is hard to undo what society has done to is over the years. This movement did that for me!